If you popped over here today because of the Proverbs 31 devotional, hello!
This is a weekly blog that posts on Wednesdays so make sure you check in each week to visit with us for all your fashion and beauty needs from a Christian perspective.
So glad to hear from some of you regarding last week's post about facial hair! Wow, as someone said, it's such a hairy subject! LOL! It's fun to tackle some of those touchy topics and talk about them.
As for this week, I want to continue the conversation I started on today's devotional
"Defined by God".
Here goes:
So what would life look like if we accepted God's workmanship?
Seriously. What would YOUR life look like?
- Would you stop putting yourself down everytime you looked in the mirror?
- How about when someone compliments you? How would you answer differently? Would you be able to accept their compliment?
- What about when you have a bad hair day...could you just go on about your day and not worry about it, frizzy, flat or otherwise?
- How about when you slip into a pair of jeans you thought fit you, but didn't anymore. Could you just hang them back up and put on another pair (a size bigger) and not berate yourself for having gained a few pounds?
- What about when you see someone in the coffee shop or at your child's school who is impeccably dressed...Could you not compare yourself to her and instead compliment HER and mean it?
- How about when you pass a window and you see your reflection...would you say, "Wow, I'm cute! Thank you, God!"
- What about this one: You're in a store and try on a size 8...it doesn't fit. You DON'T refuse to try on the 10's...you happily do so!
- How about when you see someone who has a body you'd like to have...instead of thinking envious thoughts, you'd not even go there. At all.
We're all about beauty here at this blog, so let's do this today. PRAY and ask God to reveal to you what it is that He wants you to stop or start doing in regards to how you see yourself. In the comments below, report in on what He says...if you dare. Because if we all just saw ourselves as fabulous, can you imagine how amazing our world would be? We might even have more friends...and our daughters' self esteems would skyrocket...because I hate to tell you this, but when your daughter hears you put yourself down, she will end up doing the same. Because this is how it goes: Mom puts herself down. Someone tells daughter she looks just like mom. Daughter thinks she must not be so pretty because Mom doesn't see herself as pretty so if she looks just like Mom, then she guesses she's not pretty either.
Ouch.
So what is it for you? What are you going to stop...or start...as it pertains to your physical beauty and how you see yourself? How will you begin today to see yourself as
defined by God?
One winner will received a signed copy of my new book.
Love you girls!
SHARI
(Hopefully will have pics next week of the purse winners!!!!!)
71 comments:
I am going to stop looking at my loose neck. After I lost 30 lbs. the skin on my neck did not tighten up, but for 53 I am healthy and that is what matters.
God and I have been working on the issue of my (often lacking) self-esteem/confidence being replaced with God-esteem/confidence for quite awhile now. For most of my adult life I've allowed the enemy to fill my mind and distort my view with his lies, which left me reeling in doubt and at times a wicked mean view of myself. I in turn relied on external things for comfort in the resulting broken places. Now I battle satan and his lies by listening to the Truth teller and embracing the Truth. It's a war filled with many battles and gratefully more victories now that I've joined forces with the winning team.
We are all artistic inspirations of the Maker of Heaven and Earth. Designed specifically to be (insert your name) with a plan and purpose created solely for (insert your name). He provides unlimited resources, encouragement, love, affection, balm and healing for the broken places. He reshapes and remolds us from the inside out - and when we surrender to His renewing our true beauty is spotlighted by the Sonshine that boldly radiates from within.
It's a daily beauty regimen. I have to choose every day to draw back the blinding lies and allow the Sonshine to cleanse my stinkin' thinkin'.
With continued use this regimen is 100% effective. :)
I will thank GOd for a petite body. I will try not to wish for a bigger chest. I will pray that I can learn to see myself the way God sees me. God does not make mistakes!!!
I will stop being hard on myself when I feel I am not in "fitness model" shape. I am a fitness professional and teach others how to get in shape. When I haven't been so great on my program and fall out of top shape, I am really upset. God showed me however that I'm not really upset about the shape of my body since I still like what I see in the mirror but I am upset about how I may be perceived when I change. (i.e. believing that my clients may be wondering what is going on with me). God showed me to be more concerned with my character than my image. If I have been less than compliant, mention it to my clients and share why and how I turn it around. This could be helpful to them and make them understand that they can hit their goals as well because they will not see me as some super human but realize that I am just like them and if I can get in shape, they can too.
I will stop being hard on myself when I feel I am not in "fitness model" shape. I am a fitness professional and teach others how to get in shape. When I haven't been so great on my program and fall out of top shape, I am really upset. God showed me however that I'm not really upset about the shape of my body since I still like what I see in the mirror but I am upset about how I may be perceived when I change. (i.e. believing that my clients may be wondering what is going on with me). God showed me to be more concerned with my character than my image. If I have been less than compliant, mention it to my clients and share why and how I turn it around. This could be helpful to them and make them understand that they can hit their goals as well because they will not see me as some super human but realize that I am just like them and if I can get in shape, they can too.
WOW...what a crayon moment for me...I have never been one to accept a compliment and often put myself down as not being worthy. I now see my stunningly beautiful daughter doing the same thing and couldn't understand why! Never thinking that everyone tells her she looks just like me.
Lord forgive me for not being appreciative of the person you have created in me! Help my daughter to look in the mirror and see the beautiful person she is and not the one that is filled with insecurity and self doubt.
Hi buddy, your blog' s design is simple and clean and i like it. Your blog posts are superb. Please keep them coming. Greets!!!
Wow this really hit home! I have never been happy with the way I look! I haven't really thought alot about how my feelings affect my girls. I will have to work on this area of my life. Thanks and have a happy day
I have never felt I have a sense of style. Not to mention that I have l large chest (something i dislike because it often got more stares from boys in school causing me to try to hide by slumping and wearing baggy clothes). I try to be modest which is challenging with a lot of what's out there. When I walk into a clothing store I often feel overwhelmed and don't know where to begin.
However I know that it comes from a struggling self esteem. I tell my young daughters that God made them beautiful and it is something I have really been convicted of that I need to believe about myself. God has been working on my heart and mind. It's an ongoing battle, but your devotional was very encouraging this morning.
Thank you!
Sarah
My tummy fluff, my adult acne, my "ample" backside, my botched hair adventures...sigh...and yet He finds so much in me to love.
The next time I pass a mirror and start to inventory my flaws, I am going to remind myself that God does not look at the outside appearance, he looks at the heart of a woman, and my heart is just overflowing with love and gratitude for Him - He sees me, He knows me, and He has called me by name.
Keep 'em coming Shari! Love your posts.
Tracy
To embrace who I am at this very moment because I am loved by God and by my husband and in the end that is all that really matters that we are LOVED!! Blessings to you and yours today :)
This is where Satan is winning and I am losing this battle. I know God created me the way I am but I absolutely despise the way I look, I cry about it. This has been going on for as far back as I can remember, 3rd grade, where I was the one with the bra who got teased and then puberty was relentless. I can feel those memories as if the incidences were happening right now.
How do I wrap my mind around the concept to accept myself right here, right now? I just don't know.
When I attempt to shop, I walk through the stores with a bag in front of me to hide my worst area. Of course, it's only 1 bag because I can never find anything to fit. Then my husband usually takes what I bought back because I never want to go back to the store. My wardrobe consists of t-shirts, long sleeve dark t-shirts. Exciting, right?
My job allows me to hide in protective wear. But my job consists of making other women beautiful. I always feel like a fake. I should be dressiing in current fashion for my job, t-shirts don't cut it.
I have sons, not daughters. I am often thankful for that because I know how detrimental I would have been girls.
How do I move past this? I just want to not feel disgusted.
Dear beautiful woman of God, the one who just commented above about losing the battle with the enemy because you don't like the way you look....please email me seperately so I can speak to you privately... my email address is Shari-P31@earthlink.net God has something for you regarding your outer beauty...and I get to tell you....thank you for trusting me. Shari
I have struggled for the past few years with comparing myself to other women. Lately, I have looked in the mirror like it is a microscope...seeing all my flaws magnified. I will start seeing the beauty in me that God has created and stop being so harsh on myself...Thank you for your devotions.
Hi Shari I loved your post today. I just bought your book yesterday "Good girls don't have to dress bad." I can't wait to start on it. I hate the 40 pounds i have gained from the steroids I had to take for 4 years but when I say that I hear God say...But you can walk...and I was crippled beyond belief before starting the meds so now I am a bit fluffy but happy and blessed and beautiful to God and my husband. Thanks Kathy M.
I want to memorize Psalm 45:11 so that I can say that to replace the negative things I say to myself.
"The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." Psalm 45:11 (NIV)
~ Dorothy
mcdanieldc@bloodspot.com
I have three daughters and they all look like me. One is like a mirror, and the other two are enough like me that strangers recognize they are mine. I think they are all beautiful - but somehow I don't think I am. I'm crying as I write this. Your post really hit home. I pray that I will know in my heart that God doesn't make junk, as much as I know it in my head.
BTW Shari - I would love your posts to come to my inbox, but can't figure out how to make that happen. Can you help?
Wow! This really hit home. I have two girls and they both look like me. I never thought about how my negative statements about myself affect them. Am going to change that!
I just wrote Psalm 45:11 on an index card and I to have committed to memorizing it, but I already do believe this scripture! I have a pholosophy that if I think I look good then I DO look good so therefore everyone else thinks I look good!!! This way I don't have to worry about what others think, I just assume they think what I think! LOL I work with a minitry called CWJC (Christian Women's Job Corps) and I want to memorize this scripture so I can use it with the ladies I come in contact with on a daily basis.
Seriously.... God has been dealing with me on this subject through MANY avenues in the past month and a half. Almost daily, and at least weekly, I get another message through my Bible reading, my doctor, friends, emails, devotions. This morning, I happened upon Song of Solomon in my daily reading, and noticed how the Shulamite's friends, even the queens and concubines did not resent her perfection and beauty. They made her jewelry to make her more appealing to Solomon (the man they also loved), and praised her. That is almost a foreign concept to me. God is obviously still working on me in this area... not to compare myself to others, not to resent their beauty in areas I see flaws in myself.
I am fortunate to be a woman that is okay with my body as it is. I'm going to thank God today for making me as He did, and for the confidence He gave me to go along with it!
I am thankful for the good health that allows me to exercise and I can stop worrying about what others think looking like the mommy that only owns sweats!
Hitting a bullseye again today Shari! I struggle with comparisons in a lot of areas of my life. My body and style is a prime example. I too am focusing on the verse from Psalms and how God views me. Thanks for the wonderful encouragement!
Others think my size is cute. A few years ago I was a few pounds and inches smaller. As much as anything, I feel uncomfortable. This morning I confessed to God that I have not been exercising self-restraint, so I've invited Him to exercise control over me. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I am healthy. One step that I am taking and trusting God to enable me to do is to back off some on sugar - sweets.
Ok, I am going to stop worrying so much about my weight. Yes, I need to be healthy but I don't need to be obsessive about it. God looks at me and sees a good thing and that should be enough for me:)
Thanks for the devo!
God has really been working on me with this one for 2 years now. I am technically "morbidly obese" which is a really nasty way to say I carry lots of extra junk in my trunk. I haven't always been this way and had actually been losing weight (almost 50 lbs) about 3 years ago. Then God gave me a reality check... pregnancy. I had made weight loss an idol in my life. Hard to focus on losing weight when pregnant. For two years now God and I have gone back and forth on the issue. I will start exercising regularly and eating healthy and will do really well when I am relying on God. Then I tend to slip back into a devotion to the exercise and spend less time with God and my "happy weight" starts to show up again until I refocus. So what is God telling me...it's good to exercise and eat right, it is even good to bring the numbers on that scale down to a healthier number, but it isn't good to become so focused on those numbers that I forget what my life is really about, serving God. Thanks for the reminder that He sees me as beautiful no matter what the number on that scale says!
My sense of style and still having breakouts at 30... no one ever told me you would have to deal with wrinkles and acne at the same time! Still, God made them both... Praise Him!
I have just lost 53 lbs.. and am still going, and the other day when I reached the 50lb mark I was so happy... the Friday came and I mentally abused myself.. telling myself that I was worthless, not pretty, never going to amount to anything, you name it, I said it to myself.. Then I stopped and realized that satan was at the root of all that abuse. God doesn't want me to feel sad and discouraged about something that He Himself to me to begin. This blog came at the right time for me. I need to accept myself the way I am now and as long as I am in obedience to Him I will Claim Victory over this battle and be just as beautiful now as I will be when I reach my Goal!
I will say thank you to God for making me so wonderfully every time I look into the mirror instead of criticizing every little thing. God loves me and thinks I'm beautiful. I am HIS!
Jane
jama@gondtc.com
Would love to win that book! I need all the encouragement I can get about my weight!
wow - God is really working here. First I was convicted about "sugar control" and now what you say here is what I needed the most! I have a small gut on me that I "despise" - my husband says I just like talking about it, so I am determined to get rid of it. I am 55 and I weigh 149 or so, I wear a size 10 and sometimes 8. People say I am not fat...Yes, I am obsessed with my "gut" - thank you for reminding once again that I am ok! I am healthy, I exercise, and I feel good - maybe I will remember that when I look in the mirror.
WOW! To EXCEPT that I am HIS workmanship pots a new perspective on things! Thank you for sharing! I will remember this TODAY!
Thanks! Amy Scott
I need this blog so badly. I am always comparing myself to others and thinking I don't measure up. I am actually at my best shape I have been in years. I run marathons, exercise daily and eat healthier that I have ever done before,but why do I still put myself down. I have always struggled with this, since I was in high school and a little overweight. I want to stop this way of thinking and know that in Christ I am beautiful.
Dear Shari,
I loved reading "Defined by God." And, because our God is so awesome, He knew I really needed to "hear" it, today! LOL!
The Lord has been working on me in this area. During a season of intense pruning, I wrote a poem, Amazing by Grace, that helped me process the same truth you shared.
You can read it on my website at www.xedixon.com Just click on Life Psalms and you'll find it.
Accepting His unconditional love for me has been an amazing healing process for me. By the grace of God, I am learning to see myself through His adoring eyes. PTL!
I pray He will bless the ministry He's placed on your heart and continue to use you to encourage His beautiful daughters! : )
In His love, your sis in Christ, Xochi
I will stop looking at my post-baby body in a negative way! I love my daughter to pieces, and she is worth every new wrinkle and stretch-mark!! She is 8 1/2 months old, and she is worth it! I will consider these my well-earned 'Momma marks'!
Love your ministry!
Brenda
I am (I guess) at a balance in my life. I'm not perfect (no one is), so I'm disatisfied enough that I exercise regularly and try my best to eat right.
However, I am not obsessed with my appearance. I AM NOT going to have plastic surgery - which a lot of women my age do to try to retain that youthful appearance.
I learned (and believed) long ago that God looks on my heart - it's what He finds there that really matters. Now that's something worth obsessing about.
Shari, thank you for sharing the perspective of how a mom's negative comments about herself can impact her daughter. I have never thought about it like that before. I certainly do not want my daughter to place her value in her physical looks or to doubt her self worth because of any negative comments I may have made about myself. Thanks for sharing.
I'm not concerned at all about what others think about me because I'm not here to judge and neither are they. What I am concerned about is my health. I had hip surgery 2 years ago and am just now deciding it is time to exercise and get my mobility back! September 1st I started walking a mile a day and now some days I walk 2! I can already tell a differenc in my weight due to the exercise and I am slowly working out the soreness in my hip. God loves us, just the way we are, but He wants us to be healthy so we can stick around and be disciples for Him!
I'm not concerned at all about what others think about me because I'm not here to judge and neither are they. What I am concerned about is my health. I had hip surgery 2 years ago and am just now deciding it is time to exercise and get my mobility back! September 1st I started walking a mile a day and now some days I walk 2! I can already tell a differenc in my weight due to the exercise and I am slowly working out the soreness in my hip. God loves us, just the way we are, but He wants us to be healthy so we can stick around and be disciples for Him!
I am going to try hard when I look in the mirror and instead of looking and seeing a plus size woman, instead see the daughter of a king who loves me and loves that I love him and how I want to use my gifts to bless others. That I have a husband who loves me. and reminds me so often God loves me.
To not count each and every flaw I see, and to remember that God doesn't make mistakes
I have a daughter and never realized that my negative comments about myself would affect her! I am a beautiful person because He made me beautiful!
Wow! I have been struggling with this for quite some time now. About three years ago I quit smoking and when I did I gained a huge amount of weight. I finally lost most of that weight again, but now when I look at myself I feel like I am still overweight. I am always looking at myself and putting myself down and I really do not want to do that anymore. I am working on trying to say I am beautiful when I see myself in the mirror, but it is a struggle that I am trying to win. With God I know this is possibly, but it is just a matter of time.
Shari, thanks for this timely post. I have had issues about my hair for as long as I can remember. Just last evening; my husband said, ‘you wouldn’t be Brenda if you didn’t complain about your hair”. After reading your post, I prayed and God told me I am to accept my hair the way it is. So, I WILL!
Your words about watching what I say around my daughters really stuck out. I have 3 girls ages 5, 2 & 5 months, so I know I have a lot of years ahead of me where someone will be watching and listening. It's a good heads up for me to already pay close attention! Thanks.
Your message really spoke to me today. My daughter is only 3 years old, but everyone tells us she looks exactly like me. I did not connect my self image with what she might think of herself someday. I am going to watch everything I say about my appearance and keep in mind your message. Thanks ;)
Thank you so much for speaking up about this, pardon the pun, ugly subject! I was one of those daughters who heard my mother put herself down constantly. It wasn't until I met Jesus as an adult that I understand all worth and esteem come from God. I consider it as having God esteem rather than self esteem! But many of my friends struggle with these issues. I'm going to refer them to your blog!
But, in order to win, I must tell you an area I still beat myself over the head for. That would be my frizzy, curled too tight, bad permed, poodle style HAIR! My stylist just did it wrong. So, I will now stop stressing about it and learn to love this early 80's look!
This is hard. I have my good days and bad days. I have been struggling through the summer because my summer wardrobe does not fit and I can't wait for winter so that I can cover everything up with sweaters. I guess I need to pray about this. I'm not ready to say that I accept myself the way I am.
I feel trapped by my scale and that is what I base my worth on. From now on I want to base my worth on how God sees me. Thanks Shari for such a great reminder.
I need to stop trying so hard to lose the same 20 lbs, I have lost and gained back about 5 times over the last 20 years. I walk, eat right, and healthy. I keep up the good fight, but I need to be content, and dress myself up like I use to.
Thank you for your words. I have 20 pounds to lose after having my second child. It's a struggle to balance what God says about you vs. the worlds opinion.
Thank you for your words. I have 20 pounds to lose after having my second child. It's a struggle to balance what God says about you vs. the worlds opinion.
When that mood overwhelms me I will remind myself of Psalm 139: 13-14. God loves me whether I am in shape or not and I need to remind myself that God does not love me for just the outward appearance like man does but he loves me period. Thanks Shari for being our fashionista friend and encourager. God bless you.
I read this blog this morning and thought, "I already know what I have trouble with, but I guess I'll pray about it and ask God anyway." He answered and it was something surprisingly different. I rarely get compliments anymore. I'm at home almost 24/7 raising 3 little ones. But I was at a Children consignment shop dropping off my kids' too-small clothes today, and a worker there complimented my top and asked where I got it. So, I told her and I was VERY embarrassed, because I was hesitant and not really talking clearly. I was just taken aback by that. SO, for me, I guess it's actually receiving a compliment. How strange, I never would have thought I'd have trouble with that one...lol...Now I know. God bless ALL of you Lovely Ladies!!!!!!
Two things for me: to stop worrying that I don't have a flat stomach and tiny waist anymore and to be able to accept compliments....I have never felt like I was good at anything or had any reason for anyone to compliment me, so it's hard for me to accept it. And I never thought about how my daughter would end up hurt by how I felt about my own body - thank you for that, I will absolutely stop myself from negative talk about how I look not only in my daughter's hearing but to myself as well. Thank you for all you do to help us love ourselves just as GOD made us!!!!
I am going to take your advice Shari!!! I am created in the image of God and if He says i'm beautiful, then I know I am. Thanks so much. God bless!!!!
I am going to forget about the fact that my hair which has already been fine all my life seems like it's getting thinner the older I get (52) and that I am seeing more grey hairs under the highlights!
Thank you for hhis timely reminder that I am not ghe sum total of my looks!
I think the thing I need to stop doing iscomoaring how I look to someone else! Love the way god knit me together!
Wow. I admit that your post was good, but it's reading all the comments that have me in tears...
How hard and cruel we are to ourselves! How Satan must delight in our tears and self-condemnation.
I too struggle with a negative self-image and a powerful inner critic. I was one of the girls who had to wear a bra in 4th grade, and who thought I was fat at 11.
My husband has been an amazing gift from God in this area- His delight in my physical appearance has opened my eyes to how God sees me.
I want to rest in God's image of me! I want to be free from this negative inner voice! I want to be satisfied with God's perspective and content in His love.
We have two beautiful little girls- 5 & 7. I do not want to pass this on to them.
i'm glad i read this because i'm one who is always putting myself down.i have horrible habits i would like to break such as smoking and it's very difficult.it's not very appealling to me let alone someone else, but the encouragement from your blog really helped. God does accept me the way that i am. it helps me to strive even more to quit so i can be more of what God created me to be.
I will stop comparing my not new post-baby belly to new moms who have been able to lose it quickly. I've had two kids, not just one. And I'm older than they are.
Great message! I will remind myself that I am made in the image of God and when I put myself down, I am being critical of Him. No more!
Thanks!
Jennifer D
Wow! What a gift you have given us, Shari, in saying the obvious but totally overlooked. When we don't believe God and think we are beautiful, how can our daughters who look likes us believe that of themselves, believe God? What "2x4 over the head" that was! I'm going to resolve to fix that in my life...thank you!
It is hard to write about this topic and not seemingly contradict ourselves when it comes to being healthy. Just like good girls don't have to dress bad, good girls don't have to be unhealthy either. Let's honor God and his intention for beautiful creations in and outside of us and commit to getting healthy if we are not there yet. This doesn't mean a "fitness model" body but let's be honest Christian sisters here. Being severly overweight does not honor God either. Grab a fellow sister in Christ and get healthy! That way, we'll be able to live to see those grandchildren grow up and not burden our families with the consequences of an unhealthy lifestyle. This will honor God AND our families.
I know that He wants me to hold my head up with the confidence that comes from knowing my value in His eyes, and not hang my head in shame to hide myself from others because I feel like I don't measure up in anyone's eyes.
Mrs. Braendel,
I have a question about a tip given in your (awesome!) new book. It ways that if you want to maintain the consistency of the color of your jeans, you should soak them in warm water with a cup of salt for about 20-30 minutes, then wash inside out using a cold water rinse. My question is: How often do I need to soak my jeans in the salt and water mixture? Every time I wash them, or just every once in a while?
Thanks so much,
Alex L.
P.S. Thank you for the ring! I love it! :)
My tummy is the area of my body that bothers me the most. I have spent countless hours wishing for a tummy tuck and then all my troubles would cease. A couple of weeks ago I heard of a young mother who had stomach cancer. I don't know this woman, but I can't stop thinking about her and how I bet she would give anything to have my fat flabby tummy. Now I thank God everyday for my cancer-free tummy that grew two healthy babies.
My tummy is the area of my body that bothers me the most. I have spent countless hours wishing for a tummy tuck and then all my troubles would cease. A couple of weeks ago I heard of a young mother who had stomach cancer. I don't know this woman, but I can't stop thinking about her and how I bet she would give anything to have my fat flabby tummy. Now I thank God everyday for my cancer-free tummy that grew two healthy babies.
Thanks for sharing those thoughts! I needed to hear them and think about that. I struggle with insecurity and compare myself to others so often. I am going to be who Christ created me to be.
I promise to start regularly complimenting my friends and strangers no matter what they are wearing, there has to be at least one thing that I can compliment! I have three daughters and want them to learn to speak positively to other women. There is way too much negativity in this world, us Christian women need to start a trend!
I found you from Proverbs 31 and so happy to see your blog. Your post from Prov.31 really spoke to me and changed the way I see myself. Thanks! I am excited to keep up with your blog.
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