Wednesday, June 2, 2010

What to Wear: I Need Your Story

from last week's contest:
Mariah and Alex L.
Please email me at with your mailing address! Congrats!
Also, at the time of writing this (Monday night) I only had two questions from you guys! I guess talking about your statement pieces was so much fun you forgot to ask! I LOVED hearing about all your exciting pieces you add to your wardrobes and I KNOW it helped others reading about your ideas. Thanks so much for contributing! So here's the first question this week and it's from Karen:
(the second question is answered at the end of this blog post.)
Karen asked: A question I have for you is about the color of a sweater to wear with a beige dress. I have a beige/taupe dress that has a lot of wide pleats in the skirt and this draws attention to my "d" body type. Your suggestion (from the conference call) was to wear it with a sweater in a brighter color that would attract the eye above the waist. I'm just not sure what color would be the best.
ANSWER: Karen, you can pretty much wear ANY color with it! But since it's summer, why don't you opt for a white sweater to give it some clean "pop"? I would then add gold and white accessory pieces. If you'd rather add a color-color, then look for a turquoise sweater so you can wear beautiful turquoise bling with it! Hope that helps!

I am in a training all week and am pretty much unavailable so I decided to do something different today on my blog. I'm working on a new project and I need your help.
 It's not just any help, but the help of a story from you. It will mean the world to me if you will share it and I believe it will help a multitude of others in the future.
I am looking for your story that involves words.
Words that have affected you in a way that has stayed with you throughout your life. Words that someone said to you sometime in your past that made you see yourself differently. Words that wounded you. Words that affected and hurt you.
Words that someone said about your physcial appearance that affected you in a negative way.
Basically, I want to hear about your Beauty Wounds.
Was it your dad? Your mom? An ex-boyfriend, a best friend, a husband, a stranger, a brother or a sister? A teacher, a grandmother or grandfather? And aunt, uncle or cousin? A step-family member or a neighbor?
Will you share you story with me on how you've been wounded regarding what someone said to you about your physical appearance? If you want to share your story in the blog comments, please do. But if you'd rather go into more depth and share it personally with me by email, I'd like that too. I'm looking for stories to include in a future book that I'm working on for my publisher. By sending me your story, you are giving me permission to use it in this book. If you'd like me to use another name for you, I can do that, just let me know that in the email or comment. I won't be using last names, just first names.
I know that women have been injured in so many ways and by sharing our stories, we can be released from so many things. We all have a story to tell of our woundedness.
Will you share yours?
Before we leave, I'll answer the questions from last week and there was only one! By the way, I LOVED hearing about your statement pieces!!!!!
Jolene asked how to find capris that hit at just the right spot. Jolene, you may have to buy slacks and then have them shortened to just the right length for you. Or look for ankle styles that may hit just right. Banana Republic and Talbots has some great ankle lenght slacks this season. I hope this helps. Good Luck!
Okay girls...your stories please...they can be long or short. If you prefer to email them to me, email me at
Will you please leave a comment to let me know if you have a Beauty Wound? You don't have to leave the whole story there, but, just a YES, I've been wounded and I'm going to email you a story, or YES, I've been wounded, and here IS my story, or YES, I've been wounded and it's too hard to talk about but I'll pray about whether or not to send you my story. Thanks girls, I appreciate you! (By the way, there are LOTS of my blog reader comments scattered throughout my new book that's almost out!!!! I can't wait for you to see your names in there!!!!
Love you girls!

Want to win this week??? 
If you want an AMAZING summer read, I HIGHLY recommend you purchasing a copy of my friend MaryBeth Whalen's new just came out yesterday, June 1st! It's called
The Mailbox
and is awesome!!!! I got a chance to read it about a month ago and this is a must read for your summer beach/vacation trip, or for just reading at home. You won't be able to put it down...I read it in ONE DAY!  Here's the link!
Soooo, from all the comments about your beauty wounds, I will select a winner to receive Marybeth's new book! I promise, you will LOVE it!!!! And I'll even get it SIGNED for you by Marybeth!!!!!  I haven't told her yet, but she loves me and she'll sign it for you! LOL!


Daphne said...

Hi, Shari :-), I have so many of them! Both my mom and my brother have a way of making me feel awful about myself, not to mention all those snarky Jr. High comments! I'll email you the details...

redheadkate said...

There isn’t much privacy in a dorm room, so I sat outside the door while my roommate called her coach. I couldn’t help overhearing bits of their conversation. Then her coach must have asked who I was. And I heard the words that vividly ring in my head 15 years later. My roommate replied, “You know, she’s the fat one.” On a campus of 1000 students, was that really the only description she needed to give for me? It must have been enough because she didn’t follow it up with any other explanation. No talk of my bright red hair, my famous big smile, or my quirky personality. The entire complex, multi-dimensional person that I was summed up by one not so flattering word.

I’ve lost weight since that day, so I am no longer the fat one. But the scar tissue from her words remains.

Anonymous said...

Wow...words can really wound. I can say with the utmost gratitude that I haven't been the victim of that type of verbal assault. The only reason why is the grace of God alone. However, I have heard it directed at others and it grieves me. We are all beautiful in God's eyes as we are who He made and He doesn't make anything unworthy.

Lorri W.

Mariah said...

this is can be quite extensive, but I'll tell the 2 stories that come to mind:

1. When I was in high-school I was sitting around a group of Christian high-schoolers; they were(not me) preparing to leave on a missions trip. I was laughing and having fun and then one kid said,"omg, do you wear a wig??? HAHAHAHAHA!" I don't, but everyone looked at me and I felt so uncomfortable, because I do have a tendency to shift my whole scalp with the muscles on top my head. I don't know why I can do it, but I can, it's the way God made it, and it's sometimes very embarrassing. When I raise my eyebrows too hard my whole scalp shifts. :)

2. My dear, lovely husband(of almost 7 years) just a few months ago made a comment about how my nose looks so weird when I smile. Excuse me! Did it make me stop smiling? NO way! but did it hurt? uh, yeah! Am I conscientious about my smile now every time? yes...oh well :) <---- At least I can smile on here without my nose looking weird, haha

Jennifer Renee Rodd said...

Oh, Shari, I'm almost ready to cry.

Throughout all my teenage years and even in my early twenties I was very skinny. However, that didn't keep me from getting hit with negative words about my physical appearance. I was a teenager who always enjoyed eating sweets. One day when I was around 18 years old my father saw me eating something that was not healthy. He said, "You may as well staple that to your hips because that's where it's going to end up". He has said that to me several times in my teenage and young adult years. At the age of 24 I started gaining weight and ended up getting up to a size 16. At that point my sister would always tell me I needed to lose weight but she never gave me any help with losing weight. At the age of 32 I lost weight and went down to a size 8. However, a few years later I put back on a little of that weight and went up to a size 10-12 depending on how an outfit is made. Once again I was the recipient of negativity. My father would say, "You're not as small as you used to be". He would tell me that I should do what I did the first time I lost weight. I was doing that.

I have never gone back up to a size 16 but over the years I have been so unhappy with my appearance. People would try to tell me I look nice and tell me I'm not big. I've even had men flirt with me because they thought I was nice looking. I just don't agree. I feel like I'm too fat especially in my hips and thighs. There are many times I don't feel comfortable in my clothes or even in my own skin as crazy as that may sound. The way I look still makes me very depressed and upset at times.

One More Equals Four said...

While I can't really think of a time I have been wounded by someone else's words, the thing that repeatedly hurts me, is the dialogue with myself. No matter how many times I get a compliment or my husband tells me I am beautiful, I see a nose that is too big, teeth that are too crooked, and numbers on a scale that are too high. I wound myself constantly despite the knowledge that I am made in God's image and he loves me like crazy!

Josey Bozzo said...

When I was 20 years old my boyfriend at the time dumped me because I had gained wait during our two year relationship. Quite honestly I don't even know how much I weighed at the time but I look back at pictures and I can tell it is not nearly as much as I weigh now, but it was probably more than I had weighed when I graduated high school. He told me all I wanted to do was go out to dinner and sit around and watch tv. He immediately began dating someone who was thinner and more active.
I've never forgotten it.

Josey Bozzo said...

Oh my goodness, I spelled weight wrong! heheh! Can't figure out how to edit a comment.

Connie said...

I was a young mom with my baby in a stroller (that baby is now 23) and as I walked past two men sitting on a bench I overheard one say to the other "She's a 3". I immediately knew what that meant...that they were rating women on a scale of 1 - 10...and I was only a 3. I was so embarrassed and devastated. That comment has haunted me and has threatened to define me many times.

Karen said...


Thank you for answering my question about a sweater color. I really appreciate that you take the time to answer our personal questions!

I like your idea of a white sweater and already have a necklace with white and gold beads. Looking forward to going shopping for the sweater!

I, too, have a Beauty Wound, but I'm not sure about sending you my story. I'll pray about it and then email you if I decide to.

Anonymous said...

I am 5'9" and have been since about 5th grade (I'm 46 now)...and in 6th grade we moved to a new city and the kids nicknamed me "Lurch". As if I wasn't uncomfortable enough about my height at that point. The rest will come via email.

kim said...

I have a story, but need to pray on it and will email it to you. It will be a learning experience to be able to read how our experiences have shaped us.

Anonymous said...

I am a very typical "d" body type. Therefore my derriere sticks out. My dad used to call it a pup tent or bumblebee butt. Nice. He wasn't trying to be hurtful I believe but as an almost 42 year old woman who sometimes cannot remember what she did last week, I remember those terms vividly.

Also, I've heard people refer to my body as a 'J-Lo' body, to which I asked why and they explained it was all about the 'booty'. And as someone with a supposed J-Lo body I can walk down the street or around the mall and here young african american guys/men woop it up as I pass by... like their eyes are burning a whole in my rear end. It really has been hard to cover it up and I'm constantly overly self-conscious. And the feelings that are stirring inside me as I type this are hard to explain.

Dawn T.

Shannon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
redheadkate said...

Beauty question: Several ladies at church were talking about hair length - they felt like they were getting to an age where they needed to go shorter (currently shoulder length or longer and they are in their 40s - 50s), but their husbands don't want them too. Based on appearance, I agree that they need to cut it - it is dragging them down. Any suggestions?