Margaret
laughed to herself as she stood solo among the group of women. Her laugh was
not one of happiness but one of mockery at herself and those around her. They
didn’t even see her. They didn’t notice she had worn the same outfit for
the last three weeks. They didn’t observe her as she lingered by herself each
time she had come.
Margaret was
new to the area and decided to visit a few local churches and bible studies
before she landed on one. But it all seemed to turn out the same everywhere she
went, no one noticed her. She was shy and introverted and it was hard for her
to be the first to start a conversation with someone. “Why oh why, doesn’t
someone talk to me?” she thought to herself, feeling awkward as she poured a
cup of coffee in the entry way.
Have you ever
found yourself in this situation? Have you ever gone somewhere and feel
absolutely invisible?
My son
started a new school a few years ago and I found myself in a similar situation. As I
attended the PTA meeting for the first time I looked around the room, not
knowing a soul. As I continued glancing around, I noticed I wasn’t the only one
by myself. There were other women who appeared not to know anyone either. Each
one, standing or sitting alone, pretending to be comfortable, yet not looking
upward or outward, but tending more to her refreshments than having to seem
comfortable in this most obviously, uncomfortable situation. Except for the
loners, everyone else was talking and laughing in groups of two’s and three’s,
unaware that there were isolated women in the room, oblivious, in fact.
Recently I
had a conversation with Margaret and she was reminiscing with me about the time
she felt so alone in that room full of women. She said she actually wore the
same outfit on purpose for those few weeks in a row, just to prove to herself
that it just didn’t matter because no one remembered her anyway.
How does it
happen that we become so involved with ourselves that we forget about others in
the room who might be new or lonely? I think about the times when I really
don’t want to go somewhere because I’ve been to that meeting so many times
before, or because I just don’t feel like it, or because I’m so caught up with
my hair or outfit not being just so, and the list goes on and on. And then I
think about Margaret’s story. I wonder, “Am I so caught up with what’s going on
with me that I forget that it’s not all about me?” That maybe God wants me to
go to that particular meeting because a “Margaret” might be there? Perhaps the
meeting, the bible study or my child’s school party isn’t all about the girlfriends
I already know but about reaching out to someone who needs a welcoming friend.
I challenge
you to look beyond yourself this week. Wherever you go, look around the room
and find someone who is by herself. Walk up to her and introduce yourself. Ask
her some questions about how long she’s been coming and how you might help her
find her way in that particular situation. She may be just the assignment God
has for you today.
Let your inner beauty shine, girlfriends.
Love you,
Shari
7 comments:
Thank you so very much for this post about Margaret. I try to be aware of women in these situations and go over to them and draw them in. IT was such a great reminder that each one of us wants to be noticed and to know that we matter to those around us!
I hope that this post encourages us all to look for the Margarets in our churches and other social groups and to take time to talk with them and make them know that they are noticed and appreciated for who God has made them to be!
Thanks!
Marilyn
This is very good. I have been Margaret and I have been in places where I have seen "Margaret". Sometimes I feel like if I go and start a conversation the person might think I'm intruding or pestering them, so I needed to see this today. It is NOT about me, it's about who I can be for someone else. God gives us plenty of opportunities. We need to be looking for them! Thank you for posting this!
Karen
Thank you for this post today. I tend to not take the time to speak to others in a large group if I don't know them, but this has reminded me there are probably "Margarets" in every gathering, and I need to be aware of how God wants to use me to reach them.
I was recently complaining to a couple of girlfriends that I didn't get anything out of a monthly mom's group we had all attended. One mom quickly said, "But we need you there. You say things we need to hear." I had been thinking all about me, and how I didn't feel like it was worth my time, but apparently others were blessed by my participation. I have been learning to make a point of being a blessing to someone else, and not worrying so much about whether or not someone else is being a blessing to me.
Shari, this post makes me take stock in my life. I have been 'Margaret' and have seen 'Margaret'. There were times when I didn't approach a new person and should have, I will change my ways. Who knows, I could make a new friend.
I have been on both sides too. Thank you for posting this much needed article.
Shari;
Great reminder that we need to get over ourselves and see others as Christ sees them.
Thanks for the reminder!
Monica
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